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Learn to Write Like You Mean It

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Rejected by cows, Yeah, nah, and the PhD dance [Friday Goodie Bag]

Reading time: 4.57 1,176 words Read this email in your browser Hey Reader, Rejected by an entire herd of cows Yesterday, I was rejected by an entire herd of cows. As rejections go, this one was particularly painful because I am a friend of the moos. I’m vegetarian. I don’t drink milk (because it’s gross and the dairy industry is also gross). I only wear leather where it’s vintage or a genuine byproduct of the beef industry (and NEVER in front of them how RUDE). I always stop for a...

Reading time: 1.42 403 words Read this email in your browser Hey Reader, An email landed in my inbox a couple of weeks ago that left me truly shooketh. Mark Manson said, “Of your 80-ish years alive, only 15 are truly yours.” He went on to list them: “Sleeping — 27 years Working — 11 years Cooking and eating — 6 years Commuting or stuck in traffic — 5 years Running errands and doing administrative BS — 4 years Personal care and household chores — 3 years Being an infant or toddler — 3 years...

Reading time: 1.23 332 words Read this email in your browser Hey Reader, Saw the phrase “scream if you want to go faster” in action on Saturday. It works. I had a really good sprint on for the final stretch at parkrun. Glided (glode?) past three other runners, feeling smug. Not even dying too much. Ready to overtake the last woman before the finish line, I sped up a little more… when she let out the most almighty bellow NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! That doesn’t do the...

STRAP IN! I wrote you an essay… Reading time: 11.07 2,643 words Read this email in your browser Hey Reader, Why reaching for Claude will cost you more than you can imagine A growing number of influential people are yelling at us to stop talking about AI online. Stop yammering. Stop complaining. Just let people do what they want to do. Celebrities like Reese Witherspoon (oh Reese, I’m so disappointed) are piping up and telling women that we must adopt AI or we’ll be left behind. (Please, leave...

Reading time: 2.04 490 words Read this email in your browser Hey Reader, I’m a bit worried this makes me a bit of a wanker, but… I think I’m kinda LinkedIn famous!!! Friday night, under the neon lights of the bar, as I peered anxiously into Joe’s face asking him repeatedly, “Was my set okay? Was I funny? DID EVERYONE HATE ME???” and for the seventh time he said, “YOU WERE GREAT CALM DOWN,” there was a tap on my shoulder. “Excuse me,” said the best-dressed woman in the room, “but you ARE Vicky...

Reading time: 4.33 1.079 words Read this email in your browser Hey Reader, It’s actually really easy to change things. Not the huge things, like stopping orange tyrants from making wars or reversing climate change overnight. But the small things that lead to the big things — it’s really easy to change those. Like, people are sad and angry and scared, and that makes them want to blame other people for stuff that’s not other people’s fault, and then more people are sad and scared, and so it...

Reading time: 2.15 532 words Read this email in your browser Hey Reader, George Saunders calls it The Gulp: “the exciting but harrowing period in the publication of a book when, with the writing all done… the waiting-to-see begins. Will people read it? Will they like it?” Before they start, everyone thinks that writing the book is the hardest part. And it is hard. But that’s nothing compared to the moment when you strip yourself naked, cover yourself in maple syrup, and offer yourself up to...

Reading time: 3.14 766 words Read this email in your browser Hey Reader, Halfway up Cader Idris, I ran out of everything: energy, patience, my breakfast, and the ability to form any coherent thoughts to solve the problem in front of me. The problem was that I hadn’t eaten enough breakfast and I hadn’t brought enough proper food and I really hadn’t thought the whole thing through. Good job my base level of fitness was high, ey? I stopped for a moment and considered: I could turn around and go...

Reading time: 1.11 281 words Read this email in your browser Hey Reader, I step onto the beach with my board and pause. I can hear the sea, just… but I can’t see it; there’s too much fog. By a large driftwood log, I set up my little camp and warm up, watching shadowy figures emerge from the mist, boards under their arms. Their laughter drifts over my skin. Early surfers on their way for breakfast and the rest of their day. Mine’s just beginning. As soon as I pass the breakers, I’m alone with...

Reading time: 3.03 723 words Read this email in your browser Hey Reader, “What would make it possible?” When John Aaron, NASA engineer in mission control, worked on the Apollo 13 mission, he found himself sliding into despair. The oxygen tank had exploded. The crew were running out of air and time. The command module had to be shut down. And the ship was on its way back from slingshotting around the Moon. They were surviving in Aquarius, the lunar module, which was never designed as a...