Reading time: 5.37

1,334 words

Hey Reader,

Last Sunday I did an open mic at the Kingsdown Vaults in Bristol, run by Greg Winfield.

It’s a new material night and I haven’t really done one of those before.

My problem — and this may sound familiar to you — is that I WORRY. I worry that what I’m doing is not good enough, not funny enough, not polished enough. So I go to every comedy gig with a 5- or 10-minute set that is solidly planned and ready to go.

Then I sweat like Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor in the back of a police car.

WHAT IF I FORGET MY STORIES?

So I was in awe of Jess Lowe, a fellow comedian, who got up there and was very funny indeed… including when something didn’t get a laugh and she’d chuck her note over her shoulder and say, “Welp, that didn’t work so well, did it?” And then she would get a laugh AND NOBODY DIED.

It had not occurred to me that I could go up there with unfinished and untested material and try things out that might not be funny.

I’m missing out.

If I could just remove the massive baked potato from my shoulder and the US men’s hockey stick from my butt and chill tf out, I think doing stand-up could be a lot more fun for me.

You can’t do that everywhere; at the gigs where people have paid for a ticket, it needs to be more polished and that’s fine.

But at the free open mic nights, anything goes. That’s our opportunity to try new ideas, float new jokes, see what happens if you make fun of an audience member’s career choices because they’re trying to make “data analyst” sound exciting.

As Greg pointed out to me, that’s often where the best jokes come from.

You try something, it doesn’t work, but your brain screeches round a corner and finds something else in a bin, and you try that off the back of it, and the room erupts in laughter, and you’ve got a new bit.

Trying things that might not work could be the funnest activity of all. I’ve got a ton of new ideas and I’m taking them back to that Bristol pub next month to try a few of them out.

The worst that will happen is a bunch of people staring at me in silence as my joke fails to land. But if I stare right back at them and make a face, maybe I can get a laugh anyway.

Don’t let the possibility of other people thinking you’re anything less than perfect stop you from writing anyway. You’re missing out on something beautiful if you do.

Your voice is magic. Use it.

Which is what Monday’s Unapologetic Voices Marathon is all about. Do you have your ticket yet?

​Got your ticket? It’s free! Excellent. Now here’s what I’ve gathered for your Friday Goodie Bag reading pleasure…

The Newspaper Club making paper great again

Ash Ambirge wrote about print media the other day and I was delighted because, as you may know, I create and print a zine that I send out to a select few people I think will enjoy it. I don’t charge for it. I do it because it brings me joy and I hope it puts a smile on the faces of the people who receive it. Also if I don’t charge for it there’s less pressure on me to make something so I make it because I WANT to.

Anyway, Ash mentioned The Newspaper Club and I love the whole idea. Do you send letters? Postcards? Printed media? Give it a go. You’ll make someone’s day.

This beautiful piece on the men’s room

This is all I’m gonna say about the US men’s hockey team because, frankly, they’re insignificant. The women’s team, however, is a class act. This article by the Humanity Archive is a great read (as are all their articles).

Ekua Cant’s fireside chat with me!

Last week Ekua, who helps women get paid more for speaking and is one of the most delightful humans I know, invited me to a live LinkedIn chat about books, writing, and using your voice out loud and I had a wonderful time. You can watch us here.​

Elite level trolling by Bedford Borough Council

Bedford Borough Council wished the borough a happy Lent and some miserable little spanner managed to make it racist by replying “Funny you put up Ramadan and eid first. Its a Christian country first and foremost.”

Let’s leave aside the fact that the UK is NOT a Christian country. Most of us have no religion.

And focus on Bedford’s absolutely epic response:

“Ramadan began on February 17. That is why we put our Ramadan message on social media yesterday. Lent began today, which is why our Lent message went on social media one day later. The date of lent is determined by the church calendar, rooted in the decisions of the Council of Nicaea (325 AD). The official start of Ramadan traditionally depends on the sighting of the new crescent moon. Bedford Borough Council holds no authority over the Council of Nicaea and was not responsible for the creation of the moon 4.53billion years ago.”

Bravo, Bedford. Bravo. No insults. Just facts. And the petty joy of knowing Maggie Tyers will be boiling like an impotent angry pot.

These prisoners who make quilts

A few days ago, Joe and I watched a Netflix documentary called The Quilters. It’s about a bunch of men in a Missouri maximum-security prison who design and sew beautiful, personalised quilts for foster children. I cried a lot watching this because it’s not about quilts. It’s about how we treat humans who make terrible mistakes.

Every time I watch something like this I think What are we DOING? These people have been in prison sometimes for decades. DECADES. Their mistake, their crime, is so far behind them. They’re not the same people. We have to allow people to change and grow.

I truly believe that one of the things future humanity will look back on with the same disgust we look at the slave trade will be our prison systems. Most of the time, it’s revenge pure and simple. Very few people are a permanent danger to society. Prison mostly makes more problems.

Anyway, watch the documentary. It’s wonderful.

What I’m reading

I have DNF’d two books recently and I’m not even sorry. Now I’m reading Rupert Everett’s To the End of the World: Travels with Oscar Wilde and it’s very entertaining. Everett is a very entertaining writer and he drops names and wild anecdotes all over the place, no regard for propriety or being properly discreet. This memoir is specifically about the influence Oscar Wilde had on him, from his mother reading The Happy Prince to him as a child, to the plays he did, and eventually the film about Wilde that he made and starred in. Highly recommend.

What I’m writing

I have, just before writing this email, blocked out regular time in my calendar to work on my next book. It’s not a business book; it’s a memoir, and I’m feeling wildly enthusastic about it at the moment. That will probably change next week because writing books is a rollercoaster.

Because of that I’m actually working on a piece for my other newsletter right now about how easy it is to destroy me with everyday kitchen items.

Word of the week

Chrysalism: The peaceful feeling that comes from being indoors during a thunderstorm.

WHAT A WORD.

Quote of the week

Happy Friday. Go forth and send a smile around the world. And remember: social media distorts reality. Talk to real, individual people, about everyday life and reconnect with humanity.

TTFN,

Vicky 🫡

p.s. Know someone who might enjoy this email? Please forward it to them and get them to sign up here.