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Hey Reader,

On Sunday evening, I — well, Joe, my ever-supportive and patient husband and official driver — drove a 3 hour 20 minute round trip so I could spend 10 minutes onstage doing stand-up comedy.

On the way home, I thought about why.

Why would I spend so much time and energy and, yes, travel money to stand in front of a pub full of people and try to make them laugh?

I came to the conclusion that it’s because if we don’t use our voices, we lose them.

But we don’t just lose some superficial external part of ourselves.

We start to lose who we are.

If I’m not writing or speaking or doing stand-up, the core of my personhood starts to blur at the edges. I’m in danger of putting on someone else’s opinions or personality or quirks.

I’ve spent enough of my life doing that, trying to hide the fact that I am an alien in a skin suit, and trying to pass as a “normal” human being, whatever the hell that is.

Pushing myself to stand up in public and try to make a roomful of strangers feel something means I’m digging around in my own brain for the truth. Not some fictional objective truth; I’m not sure that exists outside the laws of physics. But my truth.

On a different stage about a year ago, I said something that stuck with other people, but that I quickly forgot.

I said that when I was younger and had no idea who I was or where I fit, because I didn’t seem to fit anywhere, I started writing.

I literally wrote myself into existence.

When you feel invisible and like you don’t belong in any space, with anyone, anywhere, you can begin to feel unreal. So I started writing, and I never stopped.

Stand-up felt like the next logical step.

It’s a way to say, “Here I am. I exist. This is the way the world seems to me; does it maybe seem that way to you, too?”

It’s a way to say, “Here’s my story. It matters. I matter.”

And, yeah, it’s pretty cool when I can make an entire roomful of people laugh.

Even cooler when someone comes up to me at the end and says, “Thank you for seeing me.”

I’ll be talking about all of this, and the magic of books in a digital world, and why the only way to find your voice is to use it, at Sophie Lee’s Unapolgetic Voices Marathon on Monday March 2. I’m closing the day at 7pm and I’d love for you to join us.

There are 35-odd speakers — it really is a marathon! — and you can pick and choose the talks you join. I’m also in conversation with Yinka Ewuola at 1.30pm, where we’ll be talking about money as self-expression: using cashflow to speak, stand, and lead boldly.

Best of all? It’s free.

​Register here. I’ll see you there!

TTFN,

Vicky 🫡

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