Reading time: 1.27 342 words Hey Reader, Would you eat 18.2m of stinging nettles in return for a shiny trophy? No, me neither. I don’t even want them near my hands. My entire forearm tingles and it’s all Joe’s fault. In the midst of a big old gardening sesh yesterday, while gathering the weeds I had pulled, Joe accosted me with the hosepipe, causing me to flail wildly and coat my left forearm in stinging nettles. Front and back, inside and outside — I couldn’t have been more stung if I’d rolled around in them. I had, earlier, sprayed Joe with the hosepipe because he was complaining about being hot, but still. Proportional response, people. Proportional response. The blisters have gone down now and apparently my immune system will be happy with me, but my left arm feels weird. Joe distracted me from the stings by telling me about a competition that I absolutely HAVE to go and watch next year: the World Nettle Eating Championships. I love these weird little contests — this year I narrowly missed out on seeing the Shin-Kicking Championships — because they’re a little insight into local customs. This isn’t nettle tea or nettle soup, either. Contestants are presented with a pile of fresh nettles, and they have to rip off the leaves and stuff them into their mouths and eat them. Raw and stinging. Participants have 30 minutes to eat as many leaves as possible before the empty stalks are counted. They get to wash it down with cider but still. No thank you. 2023’s champion Bethan Hodges scoffed an in(cr)edible 18.2m of nettles. Does your local area have any weird little customs or competitions? Any half-forgotten folk festivals or shenanigans? Please tell me about them. Maybe on next week’s Tasty Hooks workshop! I’ll be sending out a booking link tomorrow and over the next few days. The workshop will teach you three ways to hook your reader’s eyeballs, and we’ll workshop some pieces in person. You’ll come away confident in your ability to grab attention without doing anything you’ll regret later. ​Get on the waiting list here. TTFN, Vicky 🫡 p.s. Know someone who might enjoy this email? Please forward it to them and get them to sign up here.
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