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Hey Reader,

You won’t often find me talking about a “writing habit.”

Most people don’t have a writing habit at all. I don’t. I have a practice.

But I do use the word “habit” to beat myself up on occasion, and I bet you do, too.

“Just make writing a habit!” they say.

But they don’t provide instructions on how to do that, and they also don’t really understand what a habit is.

A habit isn’t just something we do regularly.

A habit is a cognitive behaviour that depends on a cue. Which means if the cue doesn’t exist, the habit doesn’t happen.

My husband hasn’t smoked cigarettes for more than 20 years now, but if he gets off a train, he still reaches inside his jacket for a packet of ciggies because stepping off the train on his way to work was his cue to light a cigarette for years.

The nicotine craving and addiction no longer exist, but that habit cue is still buried in his circuitry.

Putting your seatbelt on when you get into the car is a habit.

Reaching for your phone when you sit on the sofa is a habit.

Yanking your pants down in a mild panic when you approach the toilet to wee is a habit.

Here are three things that are NOT habits:

1. Exercising regularly
2. Going to bed early
3. Writing

These are complex behaviours and they do not happen automatically and calling them “habits” is a real problem.

When we call something a habit, we expect it to happen easily, subconsiously, and automatically. When’s the last time you did any of those three things subconsciously or automatically?

Never, right?

Which means when it doesn’t become easier over time, we become frustrated and we blame ourselves. There must be something wrong with us because other people can make writing a habit, it’s so easy for them, so what’s going on?

What’s going on is that either they don’t have a writing habit (most likely) or they’ve engineered an actual habit over time, that’s dependent on cues and motivational responses (less likely).

Writing is a complex behaviour that may contain some habitual elements — for example, my morning cup of tea triggers my brain dump 750 words — but there’s a lot of cognitive processing and thinking going on for most of my writing sessions, and they’re not cue-based.

Forming habits is difficult and time-consuming and I’ve learned that we’re mostly being told the wrong things to do.

The key to behaviour change is to start tiny: pick a tiny thing that we can make cue-dependent and build on it.

I’m about to become fully obsessed with the science of habits and behaviour change, so watch this space.

But for now, let’s start the week with a new understanding of what habits are, and what they are not — and be kinder to ourselves when it’s not as “easy” as we think it should be.

And take with a pinch of salt those who say they have a strong writing habit, and all you have to do is make a writing habit too.

TTFN,

Vicky 🫡

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