Reading time: 3.41

874 words

Hey Reader,

Coroner’s report stated the cause of death was puffy sleeves underneath a tight cardigan. My mother made me wear it aged approximately four years, on our summer holiday in Betws-y-Coed. She paired this horror with slippy sandals for picnicking and messing around by the river, thus ensuring my inability to leap from rock to rock like the gazelle I clearly was.

This is my first memory of dying. There were many more.

Cause of death: fajitas.

Specifically: fajita juice running out of the tortilla, down the palm of my hand, and under my watch strap.

Cause of death: a drop of water splashed onto my sleeve as I washed my hands.

Cause of death: wet wool. WET WOOL.

In public toilets, I stare aghast as perfect strangers go about their business washing their hands without rolling up their sleeves. I die on their behalf, just briefly, as I struggle to remove my coat, my jumper, my long sleeves, and my skin before I venture to the taps myself.

Cause of death: the hand-dryer placed above elbow-height on the wall.

Cause of death: stepping on something wet in socks. Stepping on something wet not in socks. Toilet splashback.

Visiting the hairdresser is fraught with peril… [keep reading on my OTHER newsletter, Late to the Party]

^^

​Late to the Party is a newsletter about what it’s like inside the head of a late-diagnosed autistic-adhd woman and my daily struggles to adequately human and not explode. This is my attempt to write a book by stealth and also support my stand-up comedy habit.

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And now for this week’s goodie bag. Buckle up, chopsticks — here’s what I’ve found for you…

Katie Mitten’s Stranger Things homage

I love a good parody video, and as we’re currently watching Stranger Things season 5 this seems topical. Katie is a funny lass and I invite you to enjoy this little slice of comedic creativity.

This utterly delightful show about fishing

As a child of the 90s, I grew up with Bob Mortimer and Paul Whitehouse and their assorted silliness. Bob Mortimer is a treasure. Anyway, these two have been friends for 30 years and Paul decided to teach Bob to fish, and they made a TV series. It’s a love letter to the British countryside, to male friendship, and to getting older with glee. I love it. Check it out.

This VERY SILLY MicroBook about corgis

I have Nick Parker’s MicroBook On Reading and I love it. So when he announced another MicroBook called Wat Am Corgi written with his friend Adam Kaveney, I immediately bought it and read it in 15 minutes and laughed my little socks off. It’s not really about corgis. It’s about being silly. Which I fully approve of.

(btw, Tone Knob is Nick’s newsletter and it’s GREAT)

This helpful and slightly silly branding slider

I like silly people who are also VERY good at what they do. Dave Officer is one of those people. He makes silly things that showcase his skills and are also useful. This branding slider is one of them. He does a great job of explaining branding. You should watch it.

This beautiful book about the end of the human race

I know it sounds like it should be depressing, but it’s not. It’s uplifting and hopeful and I can’t really put my finger on why. I saw it in the library just before Christmas and borrowed it and read it and loved it. It’s called Under the Eye of the Big Bird by Hiromi Kawakami.

What I’m reading

My parents got me a mystery book out of a vending machine called The Girl In The Woods. It’s a murder mystery by Camilla Lackberg, translated from the Swedish. I’ve read it really fast so it’s clearly compelling but I also think it’s quite heavy in terms of plot and characters. There are a lot of both and I don’t really understand why some of it’s in there. But as I said — it’s a page turner and I’m enjoying it!

What I’m writing

I’m in the middle of updating my Kickstart Your Book workshop. I’ve streamlined it and made it more helpful — I was trying to cram too much into 90 minutes (surprise surprise). So watch out: I ran it live yesterday and feedback was good so I’m in full-on creation mode. It’ll be available in February.

Word of the week

umbrage

SUCH a cool word. It feels old-fashioned but also bang up to date. It comes from the Latin umbra meaning shade and used to mean exactly that. These days, it means to feel a vague resentment or offence at something.

“She took umbrage at the suggestion that she wouldn’t be able to cook a full roast dinner without causing chaos.”

Quote of the week

Things I have found joy in this week

• Vampire movie night with friends
• Gossiping about Traitors with Sarah and Audrey
• All the garden birds on my bird feeders
• The beautiful sunrise over the frosty morning
• Dancing at Joe while he brushes his teeth
• The snippets my January Uncaged crew are sharing with me

Go find joy! Then spread it around.

TTFN,

Vicky 🫡

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